Gnarled hands were squeezing my brain. Large screws pierced beneath both my eyebrows. My neck was in a vise, with waves of pain shooting down my back when I turned my head. These were the headaches that plagued me.
In a good week, they only lasted three or four days, dulled by migraine Advil. Most weeks, they were there every day, all day long until I had chiropractic treatment. I became accustomed to functioning while in pain, telling myself to ignore it and it would just go away.
I had a lot of stress in my life, but soon it would all end after the Appeal verdict on a very ugly custody dispute over my two year-old baby girl. When I won, I felt Praise God, finally, we could get on with our lives.
I expected to feel a huge weight lifting. Experience joy-filled days playing with my daughter. Oddly, in the days and months that followed, I began to suffer from a litany of other physical problems. Sleeplessness, anxiety, flashbacks to the trial, a sense of aimlessness. Crying jags. Something was very wrong, and I couldn’t just pop an Advil this time.
For a while, I fought the path I was being led on. I knew that my physical symptoms were being caused by something non-physical. I have been a long-time believer in the strength of the mind-body-spirit connection. I even had an inkling that my body’s pains had something to do with a gnawing ache inside me, but I kept looking for a physical healer. I looked in the phone book: physicians, massage, chiropractor… all good folks who work on bodies.
But my instinct instead led me to the gym, where I pounded out my frustrations on the treadmill. ("How DARE he threaten to take my baby!!”) Then the tanning salon, where I tried to nap or think good thoughts. ("She’s back with me now. Feel the love for her.”) I let my body inhale the light. Still unhappy, I had my nails done. I cut my hair. I got glasses. I went to the dentist.
My dental assistant noted my jaw-clenching problem, (a syndrome called TMJ) and recommended I see her Campbell River acupuncturist. Hmm. I’d thought of trying that, but… Later that same day, my friend Melissa called me. "Sorry I missed your call earlier,” she said. "I was at my acupuncturist.” "Okay Universe,” I thought, "I HEAR you. I’ll try it.”
Right away, I knew I was in for something different. He wanted to know about my feelings. What was in my heart. The lights in the room were dim. Soft music played, and a heating lamp hovered over the table, keeping me warm as I tried to relax. After discussing my symptoms, and casually mentioning my stress and its cause, I found myself being twisted like a pretzel. The session included intense energy and body work, in addition to all the little needles. I knew that I had found not just an acupuncturist, but a Healer.
The next day, I felt my chest and arms… my heart… open in a new way. It felt strange, but good, like I was being drawn up into the Universal Energy by the chest. Eventually, my new Healer suggested I speak with someone at the Centre for Adult Victims of Abuse in Campbell River. I had tried counseling before, but this too was different. Instead of being clinical and detached, this woman took on my hurt. Took out my hurt. Again I was surprised with the body and energy work she did, and the release of pain.
I learned that as I’d been soldiering through these past days as a busy mother and career woman, my spirit was deeply wounded. My heart was broken. But it took the physical manifestation of pain for me to finally search out non-physical healing. I had heard of the spiritual healing of physical problems, but not the other way around!
The Healing work has brought amazing revelations. My spirit has lifted. Some days I feel truly lighthearted. And my headaches are gone, for the most part. It’s not always easy, but it is simple: If you open yourself to new ideas and possibilities, the Universe will lead you to your Healing. Body, mind and soul.
Tags: SPIRIT
This entry was posted on Tuesday, February 26th, 2008 at 10:26 pm and is filed under HEALTH & WELLNESS. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
